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It’s A Dog’s Life

It’s true.

Let me walk you through the most ridiculous conversation.

Me: “Come on Custard, let’s go for a walk!”

Custard: “I don’t want to.”

Me: “What do you mean you don’t want to? You love walking!”

Custard: “The sun is shining. All the pretty girls are out, wagging their tails!”

Me: “Well exactly! What more could you ask for?”

Custard: “Sunglasses. I want sunglasses”.

Me: “Dogs don’t wear sunglasses, Custard.”

Custard: “I bloody well do. And I look better than you in them, too.”

Me: “Woooah there! I think your head might be getting a liiiittle too large for your collar, buster.”

Custard: “Alright fine. It’s not all about looks. I just want to be able to check out the chicas and keep my cool, ok? I don’t want them to know I’m looking. It’s rule one in the player handbook mum, jeez. ”

Me: “Alright, fine. Who am I to stand in the way of true love, even if it is doggy style?”

Custard: “Heh… I see what you did there.”

Me: “Haha, sorry couldn’t resist. Look, here you go. You can wear them but just for today.”

Custard: “Yeeesssssss!” *Punching his paw into the air* “Helloooo ladies!”

Me: “Can we go for a walk now?”

Custard: “And miss all the girls walking by? Nope! Let’s stay riiiight here.”

My dog, ladies and gentleman.

You couldn’t make this stuff up.

Stripy shirt // Skinny trousers // Tod’s // Prada Tote // Burberry coat

(Custard’s) Sunglasses // Watch // Bracelets // Nail polish

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