Koons & Hirst, London

You know I love a good exhibition.

Especially a silly one.

Art really doesn’t come much sillier than Jeff Koons shows.

His new show at The Newport Gallery is the sort of place you have to walk around with your arms crossed just so you’re not tempted to touch anything.

I WANTED TO TOUCH ALL OF IT.

Especially this chap.

Gah. Don’t you just ache to run your hand along that surface?

Is it cold to the touch? How hard is it? Does it feel hollow? Would they ever get the sticky finger prints off?

So many unanswered questions.

Things only get worse upstairs.

How?

Why?

How much?!

The show is remarkably deserted, go mid-week and you can pretty much have the space to yourself.

White shirt // Chanel scarf (similar)

Paisley pants

Converse trainers // Navy Chanel bag

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I mean if you can walk past these without wanting to touch/smell the to see if they’re just regular inflatables then I don’t know if we can be friends.

So many questions.

Perhaps the coolest bit of the show is the huge mound of playdough.

If you find yourself full of questions but surprisingly empty of anything else, I have wonderful news!

On the middle floor you’ll find Damien Hirst’s restaurant, Pharmacy2.

Which is pretty cool by anyone’s standards.

Yes, I am sitting on a pill and looking at a bar covered in medical supplies.

We arrived just in time for brunch.

(It’s always time for brunch, silly.)

I ordered pork crackling to share (forgetting that my companion was a vegetarian – meaning I indulged in my favourite sort of sharing).

But it wasn’t long before the rest of our mid-morning feast arrived.

Waffles with syrup and bacon.

Eggs royale, with home smoked salmon and eggs from happy hens.

Avocado toast and crab.

More syrup!

The money shot.

The food is good! Not “oh my god” murmuring into your muffin good, but good.

And to be honest it’s worth it for the surroundings and not having to leave the gallery in the rain.

You should most certainly pop over to Newport Street Gallery in Vaxhall.

It’s a great date spot and something a little bit different to do while it quietly rains all summer long.

Catch Jeff Koons : Now until Oct 16th 2016.