Cornwall, by Custard

So, it’s been a little while since my last blog post and I hear people have been crying out for my return to the blog. I can’t say I blame you, I am fabulous! Just look at me leap…


Sorry, getting a bit carried away. I suppose I should start at the beginning. The million year voyage. Now, I hope you’ll understand I’m not exaggerating when I say it took us a million years to get to the hotel. Mum drove, I sat on Phoebe’s knee, wrapped in a blanket. Now and then she let me stick my head out of the window for smells.

Well, I told her it was for smells, it wasn’t. No one, not even a saint of a dog can put up with Mum & Phoebe’s car singing. If you can imagine the noise a cat would make if it was stuck in a washing machine (I imagine this quite frequently) then you’ll be close to understanding the exact tone & pitch my (lovely) girls reach when singing. Phoebe’s penchant for One Direction is enough to push anyone over the edge. When we finally arrived after roughly 2 & a half months of driving, we went to the beach to sniff oysters.

That’s me there, standing on a mussel patch. Mussel Beach! It was about as much fun as it looks. I was even told off for digging.

Boring. When we went back to the farm I decided to amuse myself & went to chat to some of the locals.

This is where I met Lady.

She was just the most beautiful creature I’ve ever laid eyes on.

Shall I compare thee to a summers day?

Thou art more fluffy and more temperate…

She wasn’t allowed out to play, but we traded emails. I’ll probably give her a Poke on Facebook. After lunch I took the girls for a run on the beach.

I met a puppy beagle called Molly. She was awfully forward.

Do I look like the sort of chap who wants to be pounced on?

I don’t think so. Having tired the girls out, I decided it was time to head up to bed. One last cuddle before my head hit the hay.

The next morning I woke up bright and early, ready for breakfast.

I went for James Wellbeloved turkey & rice with vegetables, a superb vintage. I usually have it with kibble, but Mum forgot so I was treated to double meat!

Best. Day. Ever. After breakfast I did some more exploring.

Made some friends.

Chased Phoebe.


And slayed dragons in their caves.

After a little nap, we went to Padstow for lunch. The dogs here are very strange, and not very friendly.

I’ve never seen anything like it! Must be a Cornish thing. For lunch we got all steamy in the car & I shared some of Phoebe’s calamari, which was excellent.

Exhausted, I spent the rest of the afternoon flat on my back “meditating”.

All in all a wonderful weekend. I can’t wait for our next adventure! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off for a bath. I have sand in places I didn’t even know existed.

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